


a dream

by notthelasttime



Series: rêveur [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: (ghosts/dreams/visions/hallucinations), Canonical Character Death, Ghosts, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Game(s), after the dawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthelasttime/pseuds/notthelasttime
Summary: Ignis woke with a start to a dark room, covered in cold sweat and face half buried in his pillow. He’d been thrashing in his sleep. There was something present at the fringes, in his periphery, something wrong, what wasn’t supposed to be there. A bad taste in the back of his mouth, a feeling like he’d forgotten something important. The world was nothing but black and the heartbeat sounds of blood in his ears.“Bad dreams?”The voice next to him was raspy in the way that it always got when its owner was speaking low and quiet, the way Ignis liked it best but he didn’t know why the sound of it should make his breathing stop, hated the way his own voice sounded so uncertain when he finally spoke.“…. Nyx?”





	a dream

**Author's Note:**

> wwwwwwwhats up gamers i'm back on my bullshit

Ignis woke with a start to a dark room, covered in cold sweat and face half buried in his pillow. He’d been thrashing in his sleep. There was something present at the fringes, in his periphery, something wrong, what wasn’t supposed to be there. A bad taste in the back of his mouth, a feeling like he’d forgotten something important. The world was nothing but black and the heartbeat sounds of blood in his ears.

“Bad dreams?”

The voice next to him was raspy in the way that it always got when its owner was speaking low and quiet, the way Ignis liked it best but he didn’t know why the sound of it should make his breathing stop, hated the way his own voice sounded so uncertain when he finally spoke.

“…. Nyx?”

Nyx let out a little sigh of a laugh and Ignis felt the bed shift, “You expecting somebody else? Didn’t realize I had a reason to be jealous.”

"Don't be ridiculous."

Nyx laughed again, unbothered and carefree, in one of those trickster moods when everything was funny and he liked to keep pressing buttons in _just_ the right way, bordering on being an annoyance until he could get Ignis to crack a smile. He hated that it usually worked, that Nyx's brand of being a pest usually eased the tension but he didn't know why it seemed foreboding tonight, like he didn't know why he felt so sad or why he wanted to tell Nyx _I miss you._  

Nyx ran hot, and Ignis could feel warmth radiating off of him. A side effect of the King's magic, though Ignis, affluent with magic as he was, didn't seem to react the same. Noctis had it too, always bordering on feeling feverish and it had taken Ignis time to realize it wasn't a cause for concern. Years later, laying in bed with Nyx on winter nights with that heat curled around him he'd decided it was a good thing, and now he was reminded of it again. His lifetime was lived at the Citadel, keeping everyone at arm's length, always that professional air of detachment in all things, emotions and Royalty never did mix, and then along came Nyx. Easy touches and quick to show affection and Ignis couldn't get enough of it. An arm wrapped around his waist, thrown around his shoulders, Nyx letting him creep closer whenever they spent time together, inevitably ending with Ignis indulging his greed for contact. Nyx never did seem to mind, just looked amused while Ignis honed in on him, before dragging him closer.

He wanted Nyx close again now and he hated that the room was so dark because he wanted to see Nyx's face too, was frustrated that he couldn't. But there was something wrong because it wasn't just a moonless night (no) or because his eyes hadn't adjusted (no) the room was black like he

_(no)_

"What were you dreaming about?" Calloused fingers brushed hair from his face and chapped lips gently kissed his forehead.

"I...." _I don't know_. 

But that was a lie, wasn't it? It was blurry, still fogged with sleep, but elaborate and vivid, real enough that Ignis couldn't seem to sort out truth from the dream, and it felt like he'd been asleep for such a very long time, like his dream had gone on forever. 

For 10 years. 

"You don't have to talk about it."

 _Gods_ , Ignis wanted to see him. He stretched out his hand in an approximation of where he thought Nyx was laying and his fingers landed on stubble. Once up on a time, when they'd just barely started dating they'd gone out to some fancy Altissian place and Nyx had given himself a clean shave for the occasion. He'd looked handsome, all dressed up and trying to fit a role so outside of himself, but Ignis had made some offhand comment about how he liked Nyx better a little rugged looking anyway. He'd never seen him clean shaven since and the thought made him want to smile as much as it made him want to cry, and Ignis moved his hand up to cup his cheek, but-

(no)

but no, no that wasn't right because he knew every scar and every mark on Nyx's body, got acquainted with all the new ones every time he came back from being outside the wall, kissed them until he had them memorized, but he could feel ridges and lines that shouldn't have been there, mapping Nyx's face like varicose veins and that wasn't _right_ -

Nyx took his hand off of his face, kissed the center of his palm. 

"You remember when I first started training you?" Nyx asked, and kissed his hand again. 

Ignis hated that he knew what Nyx was doing, knew because he'd done it himself dozens of times before when Nyx woke up in the middle of the night, memories of Galahd fresh in his mind thanks to unfriendly dreams. And Ignis would let him lay his head on his chest while he ran his fingers through tangled hair and thought of something inane to speak of, gossip from the citadel, tedious details from his day, or memories. Memories of them together, sweet and harmless, and sometimes Nyx would talk to him and sometimes he wouldn't, but Ignis wouldn't stop until he fell back asleep. Ignis didn't want to talk about memories and he didn't want to go back to sleep, he wanted Nyx to kiss him, but for now he thought he'd play along, maybe in the hopes that this would dispel some of his uneasiness, bring him into the present when he couldn't shake that dream.

"Of course I remember." Ignis had barely turned 20, not quite the same anxious and high strung boy he'd been at 16, but when the Marshal had told him a Glaive would be taking on part of the task of training him it was hard not to feel like he was being pawned off on someone else because Cor had more important things to do. His time spent sparring with Gladio had already been cut, what with the Prince finally grown up, Gladio's duties had expanded. Cor said his grasp of magic made the fighting style of the Kingsglaive a better match, that he could learn a great deal from them, and while Ignis was sure it was true that he could, mostly he felt the sting of rejection. He wasn't a Shield or a proper soldier, just a Chamberlain best suited for the counsel room whom they'd thought it best to give some basic training for a worst case scenario. Not worth training to truly fight in the end. 

And then he found out which Glaive it was supposed to be.  

Perhaps Ignis had heard a glorified story or two about Nyx Ulric over the years. Perhaps there was a bit of idol worship there for a war hero, idol worship that turned into a _very real_ crush their first week of training together, Ignis deeming his feelings officially out of control the first time Nyx had warped across the room to knock him on his back and pin him to the ground. 

He had to frequently tell himself that Nyx was most likely not there by choice. Probably felt more like he was on babysitting duty than serious training sessions. 

"I'm not sure how I could forget. I was positively smitten with you." There was that laugh again and he felt Nyx move closer. "I had to keep reminding myself that either Cor or Drautus had put you up to it, or else my imagination would have taken things to far."

"They didn't."

"What?"

"They didn't put me up to it. I offered." Ignis knew the voice Nyx used when he was lying, playing things off for a laugh, and this wasn't it. "Cor was looking for someone to help train you in magic and you had a preference for daggers, and I happened to overhear him talking about it. Said I'd do it." 

"Why? I hardly think a Glaive would want to take on a novice for fun. I always thought you were there only out of obligation." 

Nyx didn't respond right away.

"That didn't stop you from kissing me."

No... no it hadn't. An impulsive move, the type of thing Ignis normally never did and his excuse was that Nyx had been wearing off on him. They'd been sparring for months, Ignis pining for him and feeling stupid for it all the while. For the first time Ignis had managed to disarm him, trying out a new little fake-out move he'd learned from Gladio a few days before, and he'd gotten Nyx backed into a corner, no weapon, Ignis's daggers at his neck. The wide-eyed look Nyx gave him, impressed and a little surprised had been enough to make Ignis beam and before he could stop himself he' dropped his weapons to throw his arms around Nyx's neck to kiss him. 

It only lasted a few seconds. That was how long it took for the rush of adrenaline at his win to wear off before he started to crash and burn wondering _what the hell he'd been thinking_ and Ignis had jumped back, stumbling over apologies and feeling his face turn hot, telling Nyx he was _so sorry that was highly inappropriate and it would never happen again and they didn't have to train together anymore and_ -

 _Ignis_ , Nyx had cut him off, had to repeat his name three times and grab his shoulders to get Ignis to stop rambling and look at him. _Ignis I've been trying to figure out how to ask you on a date for weeks_. 

Ignis found his voice again, but it was quiet. "You didn't seem to mind."

"I didn't," Nyx said, still had Ignis's hand trapped in his, "I always thought you were cute. Must have been the glasses."

"Always?"

"I'd... seen you around sometimes. With the Prince."

"Ah yes, that's right. I'd forgotten they'd sometimes rope Glaives into chauffeur duty for Noct. Though most of your brethren seemed to always have convenient excuses as to why they wouldn't be free to take on the task. Everyone except you. In fact... if I remember correctly, some of the Glaives had a nickname for you. Kiss-ass, was it?"

" _Hey_ -"

"Or was it ass-kisser? I can't seem to recall."

Ignis was trying hard not to laugh just like he could tell Nyx was playing up his indignance, just as amused himself and again Ignis had to stop and wonder why he couldn't just see his _face_ -

"Look, just 'cause I'm the only one that didn't shirk my Royal duties-"

"Oh, please-"

" _Doesn't_ make me an ass kisser."

"Right, well..." Ignis said, changing his tactic, "I suppose it's understandable that you'd wish to get into the Prince's good graces."

Nyx took far too long in replying, was far too serious when he did. 'It uh... it wasn't the Prince's good graces I was trying to get in to."

"Oh?"

"No just... just the guy always driving him around."

" .... _oh_."

Ignis swallowed hard and felt that dread well back up inside him, "Nyx..."

He rolled onto his back. 

"Baby..."

Ignis felt hands on his face, that spot over his left eye where

_(no)_

No, no, that wasn't right, that didn't happen, Noctis didn't

_(NO)_

"What happened?"

Those lips, perpetually chapped and warm, he'd covered them with his own countless times and now they were kissing the edges of his scar while-

_(no, no, no)_

" _What happened... baby tell me what happened..._ "

_(NO, NO, NO)_

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

_"Iggy, you in there?_ "

Ignis bolted upright in bed, breathing heavy, hands shaking. Alone. He was alone. He had to reach out across the bed to prove it to himself because he'd been _awake_. He'd been awake and Nyx had... Nyx was....

A fist was pounding on his door again - Gladio. What time was it? He stood up slowly, careful, not trusting himself and ran a hand through his hair while he walked to the door on unsteady legs, letting his feet lead the way out of memory.

He couldn't see not because it was dark but because he was blind and light had returned to the world because Noctis, his King, had died for it. Just like Nyx was dead. Nyx was dead and it had been over 10 years since Ignis had seen him.

He opened the door.

"Iggy, I was starting to get worried you- you feeling alright? You look like you..."

 _You look like you've seen a ghost_.

"You look sick."

Ignis moved aside to let him in. 

"I'm sorry Gladio, I must have overslept. What time is it?"

He could practically feel Gladio's hesitation. "Ignis, you never oversleep. It's almost 9."

Which meant he was almost an hour late for their meeting with the Marshal. No wonder Gladio had come banging down his door. They'd had plans to discuss the continued repairs to the city. Getting the Citadel up and running again had been priority, and whoever had been left that they could find from the old chain of command had been roped into coming back to help. That included Ignis. And now here he was, back again living in a building full of ghosts, still smelling like fresh paint and sawdust. 

"Look, I'll tell Cor you're not feeling well, you should take the day off."

"I'm fine."

"You're _not_. Iggy, did something happen?"

Ignis sighed and tried hard to forget that feeling of warmth, a hand in his.

"No it was... just a dream."

Not real. Couldn't have been real. 

Nothing more than a dream in the end. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> if a glaive can wield its power..............  
> had the idea for this some time ago and maybe wrote all of 100 words for it, but episode ignis dragged me back in
> 
>  
> 
> this has the potential to be a multi-chapter fic in which ignis starts experiencing increasingly frequent and vivid visits from his ghost boyfriend who is haunting the citadel and everyone thinks he's just losing his mind but uh there's no way that'd end well so


End file.
